tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post9161995348500297416..comments2023-06-14T03:53:02.104-07:00Comments on The E Family in Sin City: The Mommy War I Have With Myself (sorry, it's a long one)DesiDVMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06839770682572043744noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-46578150005468788132009-08-31T10:16:17.992-07:002009-08-31T10:16:17.992-07:00I am on the other side of the spectrum--the stay a...I am on the other side of the spectrum--the stay at home mom and I have to say that I feel ENVIOUS of you b/c you love your career in ways I just didn't. I liked it, but not enough. I see it like Laura--we have the CHOICE to do what we want--whether its working or staying at home and neither choice changes how you feel about your kids--we all love our kids! No guilt to you my friend--I think you are amazing--a great mother, a great vet, a great wife, a great person and a great role model. Don't listen to anybody making judgements about your life--they are the insecure ones.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01740864312001537378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-15861063355354118942009-08-27T11:37:05.022-07:002009-08-27T11:37:05.022-07:00"Anonymous" said it right (whoever you a..."Anonymous" said it right (whoever you are, wink wink) - the second one may not have the SAME attention but they will have ENOUGH attention. I love my youngest just as intensely as the oldest - there really is no shortage of love. And sometimes she needs my attention more, so she gets it, and sometimes it's the other way around, and it all just works itself out somehow. The whole stay home or go to work thing is a juggling act that probably won't end until they go off to college. I've done both - and they both have positives and negatives. As they get older, their needs and demands change, but it never really goes away. But that's why we do it, right? I will miss all the hustle and bustle when it's over...deebo47https://www.blogger.com/profile/03691464083067391274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-6528373771309641722009-08-26T20:08:23.767-07:002009-08-26T20:08:23.767-07:00One thing for sure--the good Lord made mothers wit...One thing for sure--the good Lord made mothers with just enough love for each baby--no matter how much actual time is spent--doesn't have to be perfectly equal--mothers give each baby what they need...I went back to work after 10 wks with the youngest and she is none the worse for it but was home for the twins for almost 2 years--can't tell the difference... mothers do what they have to and it all works out...I was always independent and didn't want to saty at home and raising girls I always thought I was a good example that you can have both family and career--so long as whatever time you have is quality time...that's why I'd take the girlies everywhere with me--just to get in a few more minutes together even if only a ride to the bus stop :)--yep--good times--precious moments...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-86622819515482727882009-08-25T07:10:00.462-07:002009-08-25T07:10:00.462-07:00Going back to work is such a hard thing with an it...Going back to work is such a hard thing with an itty bitty baby in the house. I remember crying a number of times before I returned to work. It wasn't easy to do with J, and it won't be easy with the new little bean either. But, the good thing is that you've been through it once, and you know that it did get easier as time went by, and it will this time as well.<br /><br />If you are concerned that the new baby won't get the same attention and such as J, then daycare is actually a positive in this case. J was in daycare as a baby, and the new baby will have the same experience. Starting a few weeks early won't be much in the grand scheme of things. <br /><br />Of course, you still get to cry and worry about it. In fact, it even sounds like a good reason to have some ice cream and chocolate too.Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07753888380544669267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-496359930515825142009-08-24T12:15:50.866-07:002009-08-24T12:15:50.866-07:00I still go through this debate on a regular basis ...I still go through this debate on a regular basis with myself and Cooper is 3! I work from home, so everyone assumes that I should be able to keep Cooper at home, but it doesn't work that way. With some travel and a demanding work schedule I stressed myself out balancing full days of work with him in half day care for a long time, but once he dropped his afternoon nap he had to go to full days at daycare because it was TOO MUCH to balance a full time job and caring for Cooper in the way he deserves. It was a good decision for us and everyone is happier because of it. But, that doesn't mean I still don't beat myself up about it anyway. You are not alone!Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15107959291766047427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-594979987154634353.post-60731760069409182462009-08-24T12:07:04.434-07:002009-08-24T12:07:04.434-07:00Oh goodness, this is the biggest hardest piece of ...Oh goodness, this is the biggest hardest piece of the mommy guilt for me. Whenever I complain about anything (sick kids, Jon travel), I hear the "why don't you go part time" or "why don't you quit". Um, that won't stop sick kids or Jon traveling AND then I wouldn't get to do what I want to do.<br /><br />The way I get over the guilt is that the women's lib movement braved the way for us to become doctors, engineers to have the CHOICE to do what we want to do. I choose to work because it makes me a better mom. I choose to send my kids to a group day care because that's the right choice for us. Pretty much everyone can suck it if they have something bad to say to me bc I know my kids are being raised in a loving environment, and I am paying people who love children to get to do what they love while I get to do what I love. <br /><br />But the 8 week versus 12 week thing, hard to say whether that is bc of the time or bc the second time around you know how tiny they are and how fast that time goes. At the same time, I just spent a few days with a 3 month old baby and it takes so little to keep them entertained! They just like to look around at stuff, and I forgot how much the boys LOVED being in group care to see all the other babies and people around them all the time.<br /><br />Super long comment to say, I'm here and listening and nodding bc I know where you are coming from!LauraChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14322568136833382134noreply@blogger.com