For the past couple of weeks, every little kid we know has been sick with some sort of flu bug. All of our friends' kids, all the kids at daycare, all the little kids at church, etc. J finally got his turn this weekend. It started as a runny nose that quickly progressed to what we call "glazed doughnut face" (think about it), followed by coughing all day and night. Yesterday morning, bright and early, I woke up to J standing right next to my side of the bed coughing up a lung, telling me, "I sick, I want something to drink." TH got up and gave him a cup of orange juice and I went downstairs to start getting ready for church. A few minutes later, I heard a huge commotion--running around, TH yelling "Go in the bathroom!! Go in the bathroom!!"--so I went back up to see what was going on. J had vomited up the orange juice. Everywhere. In our bathroom, on the carpet in our bedroom, in the hallway, and all over his tiled bathroom floor. He was standing in the corner of his bathroom, looking dazed, basically "painted in" by vomit that he didn't want to step into. But, when he saw me, of course he started crying and attempted to run across the bathroom. And slipped. And started skidding around like one of the Three Stooges. In vomit.
As I was trying to process all of this, TH had run downstairs to get a bowl in case J needed to barf again. I started to get J undressed (starting with peeling off the barfy socks) when I heard a distinctive yakking sound behind me. I turned, and our cat Yoda was now throwing up on the bathroom rug. That's not unusual for Yoda, but normally he waits until the middle of the night so we find it in the morning as we're stumbling around getting ready for work. I guess this time he felt left out and decided to join the barfing party. I turned back to taking care of J, and once he was clean and changed I pulled out our Little Green Steam Machine to clean the carpet and rug. As I started to clean up, the combination of orange juice vomit/cat vomit/steam cleaner wet carpet smell started to overcome me and...you guessed it. I had to run in the bathroom and barf. All I could think of was that scene in The Goonies when Chunk tells the story about how he got all the people in the movie theater to start vomiting everywhere...yeah. It actually does happen like that.
It was gross. But every time I think about J skidding around in the bathroom, I have to laugh. Maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty funny.
Practice makes perfect
7 years ago