Wednesday, November 18, 2009

That sound? That would be all hell breaking loose.

Okay so it hasn't been that bad, but the past couple of weeks have left me a bit drained. Jr. has been a delight, finally "waking up" and starting to smile and coo and wave his arms around when we talk to him and hold his head up and (kind of) sleep well. Taking care of him is a thousand million zillion times easier for me, mentally and physically. I've never been a huge fan of the newborn phase, but I've been trying to cherish these times a little bit more with Jr. because I'm 99.9999% sure we won't be having any more kids. I don't mind the getting up at night as much, either because I'm more used to it--we all know that once you have kids you never really sleep like you did before you had kids--or I'm more efficient at it or both. Jr. is still sleeping in our bed but at least he's making it from 8pm-midnight before waking up. So that means of course that I go to bed every night right after the kids so I can get one good block of sleep. It's so lame being a parent of a little infant, I have no life...

However. Staying home with J and Jr. has been a bit trying lately. The combination of having a new sibling, being 3.5 years old, and changes to the routine i.e. having Mommy's home all day every day has resulted in J being completely unpredictable and on some days this close to being sold on Craig's List. Just kidding. Every day is a roller coaster it seems. Part of the day is us having a good time hanging out together, cooking, doing crafts, watching movies, walking to the park, etc. The other part of the day is inevitably me raising my voice at some point, J hanging out in the time out spot, me standing in my closet or hiding in my bathroom counting to ten (or 1,000), and me texting TH with increasing frequency as 5pm creeps closer: "r u getting off on time?"..."what time r u leaving wrk?"..."r u coming straight home after wrk?"..."where r u?"
I've never seen J be this bratty. I hate to use that word but it's the only one that really encapsulates how he's been the last couple of weeks. For whatever reason he's suddenly realized that he can be really defiant, and has started talking back to me, EVERY TIME I talk to him it seems. If I tell him to put his shoes on, he says "YOU put your shoes on. I'm not putting my shoes on." If I tell him computer time is over, he tells me he's not turning the computer off, ever. He argues with me about going upstairs to find his cup, and where his cars are supposed to go, and whether he has to get ready for bed, and what we're having for lunch. I get so tired of arguing with a 3 year old! When I send him to time-out, he yells and screams the whole time, "OUT OF TIME OUT!! I'M GETTING OUT!!" If I'm attending to the baby while he's supposed to be in timeout or in his room, he plays a "game" where he runs out of timeout giggling, and when I see him he runs back. Some days he actually yells "You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!!" (I'm not kidding. Thanks, And I get angry, and start yelling, and J starts acting more crazed, and I get a headache. Meanwhile amazingly Jr. sleeps through it all or kind of bemusedly watches us from the bouncy seat.

To top things off, J is totally having a Potty Training Regression. As in, last week he was having accidents (#1 and #2) every single day, as if potty training never happened. I don't know why, but this particular regression has been the most frustrating thing of all. I can't really describe the sense of defeat I felt when I realized we had to do potty training all over again, after months with not a single accident. And I mean all over again, we had to go back to Pull-ups after one particularly trying day where J changed pants SIX TIMES by 2pm. TH and I have been trying to really push positive reinforcement and not punish when he has an accident, but it is SO HARD not to get angry when he walks right past the bathroom and proceeds to stand in our room and pee, especially when we all know he can use the potty. Sigh...I know, I know, this too shall pass.

At least we have daycare/preschool so we can get a break from each other. I keep reminding myself that this is a huge adjustment for J, and that he has no idea why we're so tired all the time (thankfully he never wakes up at night when Jr. cries). I go back to work in less than 2 weeks, which I'm sure will bring another round of Transition Madness--just when we all get the hang of Mommy being a Sort-of Stay at Home Mom, back to work I go. I'm thinking it's going to be awhile before we're back on a good routine.


LauraC said...

I don't know if this makes you feel any better but J sounds like typical 3 year old. Or rather that's exactly how my 3 year olds are acting and we're not even going through any transition. Last night at dinner, "I'm only eating cheesy crackers and nothing else and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME." Jon's gone so I said, "Okay buddy sounds like you need some anger management!"

Jon's co-worker (also dad to twin boys) summed it up best: "My 3 year olds were complete dicks for a year then they turned 4." HA HA!

PS. We reversed the doorknobs so we can lock the boys in their rooms during time out.

PPS. Alex is at full-on poop regression. He saves pooping in his underwear for public places too, like PB Kids.

Julie said...

Um, we have the same life. Exactly.

I have more comments, but not the time right this minute. More later on these topics b/c I have so much to say.

I seriously could have written this post, except for the going back to work part, for which I am jealous of you!

Joanna said...

Dude, 3.5 is from HELL! We never made it to potty trained, so that regression (he won't even go before bed now) isn't too frustrating. It's the not sleeping through the night thing that is KILLING ME!!!!
He's slept through the night for 2 years. What happened?

I'm sorry if my hysteria is showing, it was a bad evening.

Anonymous said...

i seem to remember my mom telling me when i was growing up "You'll get yours when you have children of your own..."LOL --we used to have to remind ourselves out loud that "we love her" sometimes 25 times in a day... everybody says the 2's are bad and then the 3's BUT you'll be longing for these days when big number 12 comes around--OMG!!!at least now you're still bigger and louder than they are and when you look in on them at night when they're sleeping, they're still your little angels...

Julie said...

OK, I am back. Yes to going to bed right after Lana so I can get one block of good sleep. Yes to the potty training regression and yes yes yes to bratty behavior.

Lana has never had an accident with potty training, although it took her FOREVER to get there. A week after Lacey was born she peed on the floor 3 times. She seemed so confused and embarrassed. My ped told me it was completely subconscious. I wasn't sure how to react at the time, but man is it ever frustrating.

Lana has also got a mouth on her! The back-talking, the sass, the complete defiance, the use of the word "NO!" to freakin everything! There are days when I totally lose my cool and when bedtime does not come fast enough.